Joined: Sat Feb 28 2009 Location: Dallas. Texas The Lone Star State Posts: 350
Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the Star Spangle Banner, Old Farts remove there caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They also know the words and belive in them.
Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadal Canal, Normandy,and Hittler. They remember the Atomic Age, Korean War, The Cold War,The Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to2005 not to mention Vietnam.
If you bump into a Old Fart he will apologize.
If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his hat to a lady.
Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to woman.
Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certian the lady is on the inside for protection.
Old Farts get embarrassed when someone curses in front of woman and children.
Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity.
Old Farts seldom brag unless it's about there children or grandchildren.
It's the Old Farts that know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and woman in the military serving there country.
This country needs Old Farts with there work ethic, sense of responsibilty, pride and decent values.
We need them now more than ever.
Thank God for Old Farts.
Pass this on to all the Old Farts you know.
I was taught to respect my elders.It's just getting harder to find them.
Joined: Tue Oct 06 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 364
very nice Semp. i'm proud to know an ole fart.
every HMS m8 that ive met here has touched my heart in some way. ive never had so much fun, sometimes laughing so hard we all get shot for it. everyone ive talked to here has welcomed me into the family. thank you all
Joined: Tue Dec 28 2004 Location: Spanish Fork UT Posts: 1681
Nah cervessaman you are still young at heart like all of us Ole Farts gotta luv ya man lol
I now am put aside. I did not know the Magical Trevor is older than I am. Way to go Trev this ode to Ole Farts apply to you too. as I said to cevessaman we are all young at heart and your scoot will keep you young.
Joined: Sat Dec 20 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2646
The IRS decides to audit Old Fart, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Old Fart showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Old Fart. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Old Fart says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Old Fart removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Old Fart says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Old Fart isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Old Fart removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Old Fart's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Old Fart asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Old Fart stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Old Fart's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Old Fart told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'