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Moderators: Hardmaps Administrator, *HmS*Wedge, *HmS*grunt, *HmS*Trevor, *HmS*LongBow
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| *HmS*grunt |
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Life is like a box of chocolates...    Registered Member #14 Joined: Sat Dec 20 2003Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2646 | Halloween Costume A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hid his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate. Very Truly yours, Acme Costume Co. The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part. Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co. Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next week he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads: Dear Sir, Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple. Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co. | ||
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| *HmS*Blood |
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HmS.Blood Registered Member #455 Joined: Mon Jan 10 2005Location: Denmark Posts: 1812 | What is a zombie's favorite kind of street??? A dead end !!!!!!! | ||
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| *HmS*grunt |
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| Life is like a box of chocolates... Registered Member #14 Joined: Sat Dec 20 2003Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2646 | A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, When behind him he hears: ! BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. The casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping clappity-BUMP... Clappity-BUMP... Clappity-BUMP... On his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything.... But all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... And, (hopefully you're ready for this!!!) The coffin stops | ||
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