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| *HmS*deathwish |
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   Registered Member #345 Joined: Sun Oct 31 2004Location: peterborough. uk Posts: 821 | A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE W ILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. "I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO ". | ||
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| *HmS*deathwish |
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| Registered Member #345 Joined: Sun Oct 31 2004Location: peterborough. uk Posts: 821 | A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it! | ||
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| *HmS*deathwish |
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| Registered Member #345 Joined: Sun Oct 31 2004Location: peterborough. uk Posts: 821 | A blonde walks into a bank in London and asks to see the Manager. She says she's going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The Manager says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as security for the loan. The Manager and the tellers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a £200,000 Ferrari as security against a £5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's under-ground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41. The Manager says, 'Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionairess. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow 5,000?' The blonde replies... 'Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?' A smart blonde joke at last!! | ||
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| *HmS*black monk |
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black monk Registered Member #1439 Joined: Fri Sep 29 2006Location: Brightlingsea, England Posts: 395 | Two blondes were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks in the dirt, the first blonde says, "Look at those bear tracks". The second blonde says,"Those aren't bear tracks, those are deer tracks". The first blonde says "No they're not, there bear tracks". The second blonde argues back. "No they're not, they're deer tracks." Then, they both got hit by the train. | ||
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| *HmS*Tiger |
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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. Registered Member #343 Joined: Fri Oct 29 2004Location: Baton Rouge, LA USA Posts: 1490 | Well it's been a while since we updated this thread so............ When Cardboard Men Come In Handy A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up. It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, 'What's going on here?' 'My car broke down, officer' says the woman calmly. 'Well, what the hell a are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?' he asks. 'Helllooooo oo!!!!' says the blonde. 'Those are my emergency flashers!' | ||
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| *HmS* Dustflap |
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  Registered Member #2256 Joined: Mon Nov 03 2008Posts: 84 | *HmS*Tiger wrote ... Q: What do you see when a naked blond does cart wheels? A: Blond...brown...blond...brown...blond...brown. Two blondes were walking through the woods and came upon a set of tracks. One blonde said that they were deer tracks. The other blonde said that they were moose tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit 'em. lol. | ||
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| *HmS*Tiger |
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| The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. Registered Member #343 Joined: Fri Oct 29 2004Location: Baton Rouge, LA USA Posts: 1490 | A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in New Brunswick . With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I’ve heard enough of your stupid as s blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little nucklehead on your knee!" | ||
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| *HmS*Grave Digger |
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 Registered Member #1874 Joined: Tue Oct 02 2007Location: U.S.A./Maryland Posts: 753 | lol | ||
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| *HmS*Tiger |
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| The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. Registered Member #343 Joined: Fri Oct 29 2004Location: Baton Rouge, LA USA Posts: 1490 | Blonde at the Super Bowl Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best -- because it makes football make sense! A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a 25 cent coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' Like... Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!" | ||
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| *HmS*Semper Fi |
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Leave no survivers and nobody behind. Registered Member #2337 Joined: Sat Feb 28 2009Location: Dallas. Texas The Lone Star State Posts: 350 | All that for two bits...LOL good one Tiger | ||
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| *HmS*Tiger |
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| The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. Registered Member #343 Joined: Fri Oct 29 2004Location: Baton Rouge, LA USA Posts: 1490 | How Blonde Was She??? She was Soooooooo Blonde .. * She thought a quarterback was a refund. * She thought General Motors was in the army. * She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. * She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. * At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius." She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... * She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. * She sent a fax with a stamp on it. * Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics." She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde..... * She tripped over a cordless phone. * She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate." * She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." * She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... * She studied for a blood test. * She sold the car for gas money. * When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. * When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... * When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. * She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. * She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. * She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front." AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde... She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. | ||
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