Forums
| Hardmaps.com :: Forums :: HardMaps Public Forum :: Your Pics and Jokes |
|
<< Previous thread | Next thread >> |
| Everyone gets offended.... | ||
|
Moderators: Hardmaps Administrator, *HmS*Wedge, *HmS*grunt, *HmS*Trevor, *HmS*LongBow
|
| Author | Post | ||
| *HmS*OBB |
| ||
| Guest | SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE! What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong". What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit.... Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides HAVE A GREAT DAY (73) | ||
| Back to top | | ||
| *HmS*Trevor |
| ||
    Registered Member #35 Joined: Tue Dec 30 2003Location: Lincolnshire England Posts: 2080 | (60) (72) (60) | ||
| Back to top | | ||
| Die Trying |
| ||
| Guest | That's hilarious OBB! I had to save it in a text file. Especially liked the blonde joke "You sure it's mine?" and the chinese couple who named their retarded baby "Sum Ting Wong" Needed a good laugh man. Thanks. (35) (43) (69) | ||
| Back to top | | ||
| SuicideSid |
| ||
  Registered Member #1073 Joined: Wed Feb 01 2006Location: England Posts: 10 | (23) Indeed ...... My fav has 2 be this 1.... Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Keep em comming Sid.............. | ||
| Back to top | | ||
| *HmS*Blood |
| ||
HmS.Blood Registered Member #455 Joined: Mon Jan 10 2005Location: Denmark Posts: 1812 | hahaha now thatīs funny, thankīs OBB for a god laugh (69) !!! | ||
| Back to top | | ||
| *HmS*Rodge |
| ||
 Registered Member #534 Joined: Wed Feb 23 2005Posts: 953 | (72) Thank you OBB.... | ||
| Back to top | | ||
| *HmS*OBB |
| ||
| Guest | FACTS TO PONDER: (A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services. Now think about this: Guns: (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million..) (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500. (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188. .000188. .000188. .000188. Statistics courtesy of FBI So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do." FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR. Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!! Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention. | ||
| Back to top | | ||
Powered by e107 Forum System
This site is best viewed using 1280-1024 screen resolution.
{THEMEDISCLAIMER}