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Jokes for Women Only
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Author Post
*HmS*OBB
Thu Aug 24 2006
Guest
Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch
of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
- Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
- Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
- Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling
fresh.
- Try Kotex blah blah blah other products

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed
a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman
that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See
what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate
from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders
will be females who just ovulated.

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene
products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that
from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted
their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol.
Printing out **** advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was
already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and
enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. Mostly we'd like to
forget that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT
try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy
crap to your products or the packaging. Put the **** in a plain brown
wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in
among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a
blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the
store. So take your tips for living and shove them right up your ***.

Ovarily Yours,
Miss PMS


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