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****BREAKING NEWS FROM SANTA****
Moderators: Hardmaps Administrator, *HmS*Wedge, *HmS*grunt, *HmS*Trevor, *HmS*LongBow
Author Post
*HmS*OBB
Fri Dec 23 2005
Guest
Dear Friends;

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good
this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some
goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.

I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but
we had a little problem.
The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling
with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the
8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for
doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4
calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a
pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.

On top of all this! Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my
reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and
some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for
the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you
the things you want.
This year I suggest you get your asses down to WalMart before
everything is gone.

Love, Santa
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