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| If Microsoft made cars... | ||
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| Author | Post | ||
| Trooperski |
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  Registered Member #406 Joined: Mon Dec 06 2004Location: Aviemore , Scotland Posts: 42 | For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At COMDEX recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off! (96) | ||
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| *HmS*Rodge |
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  Registered Member #534 Joined: Wed Feb 23 2005Posts: 953 | This one is sooo funny. Have read it before, but canīt resist reading it again... (55) | ||
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| *HmS*Echo11 |
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  Registered Member #120 Joined: Sat Feb 28 2004Location: ore USA Posts: 849 | Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that sounds like my car are you sure that there not doing that all ready ..??? (17) | ||
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| *HmS*MeKen |
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The Legend Registered Member #138 Joined: Tue Mar 23 2004Location: Stockholm Sweden Posts: 541 | oo missed on thing... who want to wait like 2 min to the car have started after you started it. | ||
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| *HmS*grunt |
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Life is like a box of chocolates...  Registered Member #14 Joined: Sat Dec 20 2003Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2646 | Well in really cold climates (like -40C windchill) - WE DO!!! wait a couple minutes after starting the car - has to get the fluids warmed up a bit or your power steering, brake lines, etc don't work so well. (95) | ||
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| D-DAY |
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 Registered Member #465 Joined: Mon Jan 17 2005Location: sussex Posts: 54 | No power steering on my ole PC, got the digital equivalent of a Brabant! Anyway Grunt, thought you guys had huskies and sleds? (93) | ||
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