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The Major's report:
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Deep Six
Thu May 27 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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Deep Six
Thu May 27 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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Deep Six
Thu May 27 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
This is an annual repeat for all of us who pay taxes...



1. *Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself.
--Mark Twain

2. *We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
--Winston Churchill

3. *A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
--George Bernard Shaw

4. *A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
-- G. Gordon Liddy

5. *Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
--James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)


6. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
--Douglas Casey, Classmate of W.J.Clinton at Georgetown U. (1992)

7. *Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
--P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

8. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
--Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

9. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)

10. *I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
--Will Rogers

11. *If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.
--P.J. O'Rourke

12. *If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a liberal. If you want government to intervene overseas, you're a conservative. If you want government to intervene everywhere, you're a moderate. If you don't want government to intervene anywhere, you're an extremist.
--Joseph Sobran, Editor of the National Review at one time (1995)

13. *In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
--Voltaire (1764)

14. *Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you.
--Pericles (430 B.C.)

15. *No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
--Mark Twain (1866)

16. *Talk is cheap-except when Congress does it.
--(Unknown)

17. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
--Ronald Reagan

18. *The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.
The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
--Winston Churchill

19. *The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
--Mark Twain

20. *The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
--Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

21. *There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress.
--Mark Twain

22. *What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-- Edward Langley, Artist 1928-1995B

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Deep Six
Fri May 28 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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Deep Six
Fri May 28 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
(1)
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Deep Six
Sat May 29 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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Deep Six
Sat May 29 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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*HmS1>OneBulletBitch
Sat May 29 2004
Guest
Please check out the link to e-bay....but continue to read the whole thing. What a hoot! Paste and copy please
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4146756343#ebayphotohosti
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*HmS1>OneBulletBitch
Sat May 29 2004
Guest
Awesome Words of Wisdom...
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very
often.

3. Going to a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car. (this one is my favorite)

4. It isn't the jeans that make your butt look
fat.

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for
natural stupidity.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. (Just remember how lucky you
were to get a free trip around the sun.)

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth.
Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the
dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three
weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the
real world.

25. If you must choose between two evils, chose the one that you've never tried before.
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*HmS1>OneBulletBitch
Sat May 29 2004
Guest
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK (but just haven't had the nerve)

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're
full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet
it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to
humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people
learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a
message
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a
word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us
again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was
young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of
strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't
give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your
mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions
I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by
your unique point of
view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't
mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is
purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of
Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are
largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would
be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent
lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of
it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you
missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder- - - - -my work here
is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just
wanted a salary.
39. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
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Deep Six
Sat Jun 05 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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Deep Six
Fri Jun 11 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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Deep Six
Tue Jun 15 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
A little "bathroom" humor never killed anyone...


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Deep Six
Wed Jun 30 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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Deep Six
Fri Jul 23 2004
Registered Member #60
Joined: Tue Jan 13 2004
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin U.S.A.
Posts: 674
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